Scars That Remain
by Victorious-Mind
Summary: One-Shot. Based on the first anime. Slight Parental!RoyEd After the Scar incident, Ed and Al are in Mustang's office, Ed's arm broken and Al's armor. Roy has the nerve to lecture Ed after what happened. And on top of that, Juliet Douglas drops by. Upon seeing his mother, Ed…


A/N: Hello! If you read Replacement Father than you already knew I was going to put this up. Anyways…a few weeks ago, I was skimming through the episodes of the first anime. And then when Scar destroyed Ed's arm, Roy gives him a lecture ending it with "oh so tough." And I was pissed, and I said "Why not another guilt trip?" So here. Hopefully it made sense. Also I hope I'm getting better at angst. I mean it was a weird idea I had..but whatever.

Enjoy!

* * *

Scars That Remain

Ed sat on the bench in Colonel's office, a blanket draped over his shoulder. His hair was still wet, the cold air around him causing him to shiver. His head hung low. The metal arm of his was gone, crushed to pieces. What would have happened if it was his flesh arm instead? The thought didn't even scare him though.

He turned to his brother whose eyes seemed to be fixed on the floor. Of course, he must have been terrified. Ed had almost been killed – no, sacrificed himself for Alphonse. What was he thinking, leaving Al alone in this world like that? He still had his body to get back.

Half of his chest, a leg and an arm had been destroyed by Scar. If it had been a bit more deeper…

There was a heavy ball in Ed's stomach. What if..? He'd rather _that_ happening to him then Alphonse. It was his fault to begin with. Al was right. They should have run away rather than staying and choosing to fight.

The door creaked open, sounding louder than it should be to Ed. He slightly turned his head. Roy's unit, Mr. Hughes and Major Armstrong entered the room. He didn't raise his head though. They were probably staring at him. Well let them be. They looked like they belonged in a junkyard.

Uneasiness creeped up inside him as he imagined the hand coming at him, Alphonse being torn to pieces.

It reminded him of _that_ night again. The black hands mutilating his brother…he had disappeared right in front of his eyes.

"Don't worry Mr. Elric! I'll fix your brother with my glorious alchemy!" Major Armstrong ripped out his shirt. A squeak came from Al.

Colonel Roy Mustang entered the room followed by Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye.

"I-I don't think it's necessary…" he heard Al say.

Ed didn't even bother protesting. He really wasn't in the mood.

"Fullmetal's the only one who can perform that kind of transmutation and I will not risk anyone else doing it. Isn't that right?" his superior officer asked. Edward lifted his head and felt those eyes burn through him.

"_You almost got killed back there."_ His eyes were saying. _"And you put your brother at risk. What have you got to say for yourself?"_

Ed looked away, not feeling up for a speech. Even if it was one that didn't involve words.

"That's right. Only I can do it." He heard himself respond.

_Duh,_ Ed thought. _I was the one who gave up my am for his soul, not anyone else._

If something happened to Al, would another transmutation work? What if it didn't? What if he lost another limb?

And what if he died? Would Al sacrifice himself to save Ed? Probably. And it would be Ed's fault. Just the mere thought of not seeing Al in his actual body chilled him to his bones.

"Aren't you going to fix your brother?" Mr. Hughes asked.

"I can't do it with only one arm." he said quietly. The information he saw at the Gate required both hands to transmute a soul. And he highly doubt that he had enough metal to restore Al completely.

"Well, if the great Edward can't use his alchemy, then he's just a useless kid." He heard Hawkeye say.

"An annoying brat with a grumpy-ass attitude." added Havoc not too nicely.

_Let them say what they want, _thought Ed.

The insults weren't hurting him a tiny bit. It wasn't his fault he was grumpy. He and his brother had nearly been killed. He was soaked to his bones. And the weather was humid today. Bad weather caused his nerves to hurt. It wasn't anything he couldn't take, but still.

He bowed his head even lower. Al couldn't feel anything And because of who again? Him. Because he had involved Al in his plan to bring back their mother.

"So what are you planning to do now?" Hawkeye said in her usual expressionless voice.

Wasn't it obvious what he would do? Get a new arm and fix Al of course.

"I'm going back to my mechanic. You know the one." He threw a glance at the Colonel.

He would remember Winry. When he came that night, she was there.

Roy looked at him with a mocking attitude, waving his hands as he talked.

"Right, Ed. I remember you in her house with that stump of an arm you have now, crying in your sleep, _Oh so tough_." He said, being a bastard again.

_Let's see you get two of__ your__ limbs taken on the same day. I would like to see you with the same attitude you have now, bastard._

Sure, he'd made up the crying part. Ed hated the coincidence that Mustang had visited him right after the transmutation. Why couldn't he have come two weeks later or something so that he wouldn't see Ed in his weakest moment?

But whatever. Like he gave a crap. He had more things to worry about the Colonel bastard insulting him.

Like getting Al's body back.

"We'll be going back to Resembool." Edward responded nonchalantly, not responding to his superior's words.

He stood up to get ready as the door opened. All head's slightly turned that way. The door was slightly open and a head peaked in. Juliet Douglas, Fuhrer's secretary.

No. No. _NO._

It wasn't possible.

Ed felt his legs shaking as his hands dropped to his sides.

She couldn't be.

"Oh hello, Ms. Douglas." Roy said, running a hand through his hair, hoping to make a good expression on the young woman. "What brings you here?"

Her hair. Her eyes.

"Colonel Mustang, the Fuhrer would like to see you tomorrow."

It was her voice. It was her face.

"Alright, I'll be there." Roy responded cheerily, his attitude suddenly changing.

Juliet Douglas bowed. Then he looked at Ed with glimmering eyes and _smiled_.

The door closed, the creak It made echoing in Edward's head.

It was her smile.

It was _her._

Ed froze solid and everything around him disappeared.

Only one thought remained intact in his head.

Had it…worked? Was it just a look-a-like?

No, it was _her._ It had to be.

But she had died…didn't she?

Could it be really?

The beautiful image of his mother's face was replaced by a grotesque image.

That _thing _they had turned her into. Twisted limbs on the floor, hair, organs. _Blood. _Her drawing painful breaths as she held her hand out for help before it snapped. And Ed watched, unable to do anything.

Remembering and seeing her mother's smile again seemed to stop his brain from functioning.

She was so beautiful and they had turned her into an abomination.

Ed couldn't grasp it. It wasn't real. It couldn't be.

He _must_ have been hallucinating.

But it was real. And he hadn't hallucinated.

Edward didn't notice anyone around him.

He was so lost.

* * *

"Chief?"

Roy turned around, noticing the surprising tone in Havoc's voice. He stared at Edward. The blanket over his shoulders had fallen on the floor. His eyes were wide open and blank. The fire was gone in them. He was completely frozen except for the shaking of his hand. His mouth was in a grim line and Ed looked ready to scream.

It was as if he was scared, like the air had turned to glass.

Just what had happened to him?

It wasn't right. Ed was _never _scared. He looked much worse the day he did when Roy when to recruit him.

"Brother?" Al asked, bending forward to see his brother's face. His armor creaked with the motion.

"Yoohoo, Fullmetal?" Roy yelled. "Maybe you noticed how short you are among us."

No reaction. Ed didn't budge.

Roy walked up to Ed, scorning, and waved his hand in front of Ed.

Edward didn't even blink. Roy bent down and stared into his eyes. Though, Ed didn't seem to notice him. It was as if something died in his eyes. Ed wasn't in there.

"What's wrong with him, Roy?" Hughes asked, a worried expression on his face as he walked next to him. He squinted his eyes, staring at the boy's shaking hands.

"I…I don't know…Edward?" he switched to Ed's actual name instead of using military titles. It suddenly felt right.

Ed didn't response or showed any sign that he had heard that question.

"Maybe he only realized now that he was murdered." Major Armstrong suggested.

"I don't think so." Roy retorted. He slowly lifted his hand to put on Ed's shoulder. "Look Ed, I'm really sorry. It wasn't my place."

"We're sorry too." added Hawkeye and Havoc sincerely.

As soon as Roy touched his shoulder, Ed crumbled to his knees. It was as if some unknown force was holding him up, and Roy had just destroyed it. Like a puppet whose strings were cut.

Mustang slightly recoiled as if he had done something horrible.

"Brother!" Al yelled. "Brother!"

"Ed, say something if you hear me." Hughes said.

Edward simply stared off into distance.

Roy bent down and grabbed Ed by the shoulders. He wanted this to stop. _Now._

"Snap out of it, damn it!" he yelled as he shook Ed. But he didn't even flinch.

Roy _slapped_ Ed on the face twice. Ed fell over on his side, unmoving.

Red marks appeared on Edward's cheek.

"Sir? Sir, please." Hawkeye pulled at his arm.

"Brother, please say something!"

Roy stared at the blond boy lying in front of him.

He looked like a porcelain doll. A broken doll with a missing arm.

Wide soulless eyes. Messy hair. Motionless. Carelessly tossed.

Dead.

"I'll bring him to the infirmary. Major, please bring Alphonse."

He lifted his subordinate into his arms.

As his hands made contact with Ed's skin, he realized that Ed still hadn't warmed up. And his clothes were still humid. He was going to get a cold if he didn't change. He heard his crew talking behind him but his mind was too full to be listening to their chattering.  
Roy was worried. He had called Ed short, touched him, shook him and even _slapped_ him.

He should have known the moment he began talking to him.

Ed was sitting there, probably already drowning in guilt and trying to get over the fact that he was half a second close to _having his brains blown out_, and in addition to his sour mood, Roy had insulted him. But why had Ed froze? He didn't seem to be in some sort of pain.

But he had looked scared. Roy knew it wasn't because he was nearly killed. Ed had faced more than enough killers to be scared of something like that. Then why?

He pushed open the door to the infirmary and Hawkeye who was by his side lifted the covers of the bed.

Roy lay Ed on the bed, pulled out his shoes and rested the blanket on him. The mark on his cheek was redder now. Edward was staring at Mustang's chest and two tears fell down eyes. But those eyes were still blank as ever.

"Ed?" Roy asked softly, hoping to hear a response. But Ed remained silent, as if punishing Roy for what he'd said, or done.

Major Armstrong entered the room, left Alphonse on the bench and left.

The doctor came in and threw a glance at the boy lying on the bed. He bent down and stared at his eyes, twisting his lip slightly.

"What happened?"

"He was in my office and then he just…froze. He didn't talk, didn't move, didn't see us. It's like he wasn't even there." Roy explained slowly.

"Alright, I need to ask you to leave."

"Can I stay?"

The doctor seemed startled at the sudden noise from the armor. "And you are?"

"I'm his younger brother, the only family he has."

"Fine."

Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye left the room. Roy promised to be back in half an hour.

* * *

"What happened to him back there?" Havoc asked. "He was fine until…"

"I never saw Ed like that, it totally creeped me out." added Fuery.

"I thought he would start screaming, he looked really startled for a reason."

"It happened after Ms. Douglas walked out, right?"

Roy cleared his throat. "Silence. I'm trying to work." He pushed away his paperwork and started doodling on a piece of paper. He was itching to walk out of the room and his crew was making things worse. Except for Hawkeye of course. She hadn't uttered a single word since they came back from the infirmary.

The talking now turned into hushed whispers.

"He looked like he'll never recover."

"I know right…"

"That's it." Roy stood up.

Everyone raised their heads and looked as he stood up.

"What? I'm going to the bathroom." Roy said calmly, walking towards the door.

The rest of the crew went back to their work, knowing that wasn't what Colonel Roy Mustang intended to do. But of course, they didn't utter a word.

He knocked on the infirmary's door, noting the fact that no sound emitted from the room.

The doctor opened the door, looking up at him.

"How is he?" Roy whispered, glancing at the figure in the bed.

"He's had a shock. But he's fine now."

"Shock? From what?"

"I'm not completely sure but it could be from a memory. Or something from his past that he remembered. Maybe he'll tell his brother because he didn't tell me anything."

"He's awake? I mean, does he respond?" he glanced towards the bed again, hearing Alphonse mutter some things to the figure in the bed.

"Yes, just now. I gave him a sedative so he'll be okay. Anyways, rest and fresh air is all he needs. That's all."

Roy walked into the room slowly while the doctor left to get some coffee.

Edward lay on his side, positioned towards his brother so he couldn't see his face. But he was awake. He was clutching the covers tightly in his left hand, his knuckles white.

"Edward?" Roy asked.

Ed didn't stir.

"I'm really sorry." He admitted, the apology coming out more sincere than he thought it would.

"Wasn't your fault." Ed mumbled quietly. He sounded tired and worn out.

"What happened back there?"

"Nothing."

It was an ignorant answer. But Roy was expecting it.

"We were _worried_ about you. You froze there and didn't say a word, didn't move, didn't even look at us. And you tell me nothing happened?"

"Well, I'm fine now. You don't have to be here. You could leave, I'm sure you have _much_ more important things to do then standing around here."

Roy bowed his head. Surely, it was private. And Ed didn't trust him enough to tell him. He had been harsh with him. He should have been a bit more sympathetic. Ed could be a do dog of the military but he was still basically a kid.

"Alright then. You're allowed to leave this place tomorrow morning so that's when you'll go to Resembool. Have a safe trip. Also post processing is a bit of pain so I will not permit you to die under my jurisdiction."

Ed slowly shifted on his back and gave Roy one of his angry glares. But there was no heat behind it.

He gave Mustang a salute with his left hand. "Roger that, I will not die before you do, Colonel bastard."

Roy smiled.

* * *

A/N: Yeahh… And that's the end of it. I hope you enjoyed it. You might think Ed overreacted but think again. How would you react if your mother is dead, and then you transmute her and then 4 years later you see her? And the only reason you wanted your mother back is because you wanted to see her smile again. So yeah, I'd probably need a therapy for a few months if that happened to me, but since Ed is a very strong person, he just had a little shock.

And the only reason I wrote this story is because I was pissed at Mustang. Yeah. I got it off my chest now and I feel better.

THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW! ;D

OH AND ALSO...I have 3 more one-shots coming. One is halfway completed, one is I'm still writing the rough draft and one is just in my head.

So here's the plots, if you find it interesting then you'll read it ;D Hehee:  
1. Roy Mustang reads about Ed-presumed-dead-after-Baschool-mine-collapse in the newspaper. (I'm currently writing the final draft.)  
2. Ed gets mad at Mustang for something that happened on a mission. So to get back at him, he dresses like a girl and calls him on a date. NON-YAOI. (Okay, I'm almost done the rough draft but this is hilarious. Can you imagine Ed dressing like a girl and acting girly and FOOLING MUSTANG? It's going to be lot of fun!  
3. Ed wakes up one morning and he's TALL. (OHOHOHOHO IT'S THE APOCOLYPSE!)

SEE YOU NEXT TIME!


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